A Go Cart Wreck, a Boat Ride, and a Disclaimer

Aug 26

Have you ever been in a situation you never thought was possible? When the moment occurs, all you can do is focus on that moment with every fiber of your being. The happenstance takes your breath away. All of your senses become fully awakened. It is just you and that moment. Adrenaline rushes throughout our entire body. Everything you do from there is subconscious. This was me when I found myself being drug by the tire of a go-cart.

I do not remember anything else leading up to this event except a few moments before. I was in the passenger seat of a family member's go-cart with a family member driving. We smiled and giggled together as we twisted and turned down the dirt road. Suddenly a tire was in front of my face, and my arm was stuck under the tire. To my disbelief, the tire just kept spinning. I opened my mouth to scream. I could not utter a single sound. Or, maybe I was, my shrieks lost in the roaring engine. Dirt flew into my mouth, but I still could not close it. Utter fear trembled throughout my entire body. Was it the terror or the heaviness of the go-cart paralyzing me? I stayed like that for what felt like a very long time.

I do not remember my family member finally stopping the go-cart--realizing where I was and what had happened. My family member told me how much they tried to calm me down and stop my screaming. Supposedly, my mom poured hydrogen peroxide over my burnt arm, back, and ear. I do not remember those immediate moments that followed this accident. I often wonder if my brain blocked out that memory because of how much pain I endured; However, I remember a boat ride.

After the incident, my family decided to go to the lake on a boat. I remember hanging my arm over the side, letting the cold water splash on my burns. I looked at my red, raw flesh in awe, which sparkled and shimmered in the sun like the waves on the lake; it did not feel real. I remember realizing the pain was over and that I would never have to live through that again. I remember the relief. I remember feeling safe.

This wound took weeks and weeks to heal. It took its time scabbing. It slowly shrunk on my body like snow gradually melting from the sun. My skin seemed to shift and morph during this process. It never quite looked the same. A large brown scar lingered for the majority of my life. Today, I can still see remnants of it. Others tell me they cannot see it. Sometimes this was nice to hear. Other times I wished people could see the proof.

I have many other stories like this one, but they do not involve go-carts. I feel it is vital to give my readers a disclaimer: in various blog posts, please know that there will be many stories about my life, my traumatic experiences, and the healing that has come from it. This story seems to be menial, but it felt important to start here.

First, not many have experienced being run over by a go-cart. Some of you have only scraped your knees falling off of a bike. In the same sense, some of you reading my story have never experienced the darkness, trauma, or abuse displayed as you continue to read. I hope you know how welcome you are to this story. I pray that as you read, you are encouraged to know that God is working in marvelous ways all around you. I pray that you do not feel like you have missed out on having a "grandiose" story, as I have heard others put it. I also pray that you can still find the next steps into peace and freedom. All of us have been brought out of darkness into His marvelous light, the darkness just looks different in others' stories.

All of us have been brought out of darkness into His marvelous light, the darkness just looks different in others' stories.

On the other hand, some of you have not had a go-cart run you over. Instead, you got hit by a semi-truck. My stories will be the life you wish you had compared to the trauma you have faced. Friend, I am so sorry. I would never wish my childhood on anyone, and most certainly not something worse. Still, I welcome you. I pray that this story reminds you that no matter how lost, broken, dark, or twisted your story is God can mend any soul. God can break any chain or cycle. The pages of your story do not have to end the way they began.

Moving on, something that always comforts me about this experience is that my family member did not mean to run me over. It was on total and complete accident. Although this accident caused me terrible pain, healing, and scars, they did not make it their life's mission to cause me harm. They were only doing their best to drive the go-cart they were given. It was a happy (or sad) accident for which I cannot fault them. This mindset is something that I try to have as I search and dive into all of my other traumatic memories. I have endured neglect and abuse. I am working through the mistreatment I received from many people in my life that should have protected, loved, and cared for me. The first step toward healing is not making excuses for their behavior. It is humanizing the people that hurt me. The people you will hear about were doing their best in life. They were all stuck in the same cycle. I was fortunate enough to break out. While this does not excuse their behavior, this makes room for forgiveness and healing. I hope my stories help your mindset shift from bitter hatred into joyful release.

Lastly, the experiences I have faced have hurt me. They have changed, morphed, and scarred me, just like my go-cart accident. I am healing. And just like people can no longer see the scar from my go-cart accident, not many know I grew up the way I did. These experiences feel like a lifetime ago. Regardless, the effects run deep under the skin. They have pierced my soul. I have had to do more than pour hydrogen peroxide on these wounds. It has taken intentional steps to pursue wholeness, but there is something else (someone, rather) that has propelled my healing even further than I could have ever imagined. Mine is not only a story about healing but a journey of how I met a man named Jesus and how He changed my life, the trajectory of my path, and set me toward abundant life. I have an everlasting boat ride of peace, relief, and joy. Healing is just the beginning.

If you are hurting, bitter, angry, or scarred, please know a boat ride is offered to you, too.

Jump on.